Birthday 2025
As I like to do each year around my birthday, I look back at the previous year and see if there’s anything to learn. (There’s ALWAYS something to learn.) If you’re on my email list, I sent out a special birthday offer.
This past year has been an interesting one. I think the biggest thing I learned was that I am my biggest problem! I am the biggest obstacle in my way, and I’m also quite creative at dreaming up roadblocks for myself without knowing it. I mean, I am REALLY GOOD at this. Unfortunately.
As you might know, I went on an amazing, life-changing trip to Kenya. I always wanted to go on safari, and when a feminist writer I follow announced a writing/yoga/safari retreat, I was IN. I didn’t know anyone in the group, and that was perfectly fine. It’s one of the very few trips that I’ve taken where I wasn’t ready to get back to my cats by the end of the trip.
I realized on the trip that I haven’t been living the life I really want to live quite yet. I still don’t have complete clarity about that, but I did realize that good conversations with other thinking humans and creative writing (in addition to my business writing) is something that I need more regularly in my life. I’ve been taking steps, albeit slowly, in this area.
I’ve also been trying something new this year. As you might know, I was in finance for a couple of decades, including about ten years or so as a financial planner. I’m a logical person, always looking for the pros/cons of different decisions, analyzing (unto paralysis), and so forth.
But I’ve seen the data showing that we really make our decisions based on emotions, which happens in the subconscious. Then we use the logical part of the brain to close the loop and execute.
On my last financial planning job, I came away from the interviews thinking “These people have no sense of humor whatsoever.” And my gut was telling me to avoid the place, given the fact that I know that I absolutely cannot work with humorless people.
Yet they were in a good geographical location, and it was a job that I thought I wanted to do. So going by my pros/cons list, taking this job was the right decision to make. I accepted the offer.
And guess what? I shouldn’t have. It was a really bad fit all around, and had I listened to my gut or at least given my emotions their proper allocations on the list, I would not have made the same decision. (But then I wouldn’t have had this valuable experience.)
This time, instead of actively trying to "figure out” clarity, I’m trying to sit with emotions and “feel” my way into the next space. I know this sounds so woo-woo, but I also know my subconscious has a lot to tell me. Instead of “doing”, I’m trying to “be”.
Which, ironically enough, is a recipe for productivity! (Just a reminder, your brain needs rest, relaxation, and fun to be able to recharge fully for the hard tasks.) Sometimes just sitting and being can also fire up creativity, which is something I also want to bring more of into my life.
Those are pretty big lessons, at least for me. What else have I learned this year?
Never wage a land war in Asia. (OK, this didn’t come from my own experience.)
Protesting – attending rallies and marches especially – helps prevent me from feeling helpless against fascism and authoritarianism. Sending the military to control streets that are peaceful (think LA, DC) under pretext of emergency or high crime is not democracy.
Although I find affirmations unhelpful, reframing situations in a more positive or even neutral light has a big uplifting effect on my mood.
Bidets are awesome (a friend of mine installed one for me.)
Keeping this one short and sweet - let me know if anything resonates with you!