Here Is Your Holiday Permission Slip
I like to give permission for overachievers, especially business owners, to let them know that it’s OK to ignore certain cultural assumptions that don’t work for them.
It’s OK, for example, to get up later than 3 or 4 am if you’re not an early bird/morning lark/lion sleep chronotype.
Do you need my permission? Absolutely f*king not (just letting you know I know.)
But I do find that sometimes people like to hear that things are OK to do. That they won’t be judged for doing things in a way that might be different from what they’re “supposed” to do – especially when the different way actually helps them stay healthier and get $hit done without burning out.
So here’s your permission to yeet perfection into the sun for the holidays. (Did I say that right? Kids today, get off my lawn.)
Holidays are often stressful for women, especially female business owners
Unseen household labor is almost entirely female here in the US. There are some stay-at-home dads and fathers who pick up quite a bit of the household load, but let’s be honest.
Who corrals all the lists of people who need invites/gifts/cards? Who writes the holiday newsletter? Who decides the menu, writes out the shopping list, and does the shopping for the feasts? Who buys most of the gifts? Who puts all the parties on the calendar and reminds everyone what’s happening that day?
It’s a lot, and for business owners, there’s a lot of direction to be given at the office too. (Because you’re delegating the stuff that really doesn’t need you to do it to someone else or automating it, right? RIGHT??)
My mom loved Christmas and enjoyed all the prep and festivities, and we’d drive around the development at night to see all the decorations. She baked cookies (my dad iced them and I decorated them – that was a fun ritual.)
But I’m Gen X. When I was young, my mom didn’t work outside the house, and my dad made enough at his job to support us. So she had plenty of time to do these things. She went back to work when I was 11 or 12, and I became a bona fide latchkey kid. But back then work was over when you left the office.
My point here is just that our lives in the 21st century are very different from when we were kids. So give yourself a break instead of trying to recreate something that’s extraordinarily difficult today but wasn’t a big deal back then.
Your kids aren’t going to have the same kind of holiday you had when you were a kid, and neither are you. That’s OK. The important thing is real time with the ones you love (so put the f*king phone away already).
Not only that, everyone’s hopped up on sugar all month, which leads to blood sugar crashes for everyone, which makes you all cranky. If you’re hosting a party, your house doesn’t have to look like it came out of Martha Stewart or Southern Living.
Is there such a thing as the perfect gift? Probably not. But if you’re selecting things thoughtfully, that shows.
The holidays may not be the time for productivity improvement
There are times when work comes first, and times when family or life outside the business comes first. And for a lot of people, including entrepreneurs, the holidays swing more into the life side of work-life harmony.
I've worked for financial advisor offices where the mutual fund wholesalers and clients come by the office randomly in December to drop off food and chitchat. Clients don’t want to talk about their financial plans, but they’re happy to learn more about you.
Thanking someone for their thoughts and generosity and asking about their loved ones not only makes everyone feel good, but it can really help you build and cement your connections. If this is your slow season, what are you sacrificing by enjoying the holidays?
On the other hand, if this is your busy season, you might need to cut back a little on the parties and really choose the ones that mean the most to you. Skip the others so you can accomplish what you need to during this time.
What recharges you is not only key for productivity, but also holiday sanity
It’s tempting to let your regimen of nutritious food, hydration, rest, and physical movement slide during this time. But this is the worst time of year to give up on “unproductive productivity”.
Which isn’t to say that you can’t sample the homemade cookies your client brought in, or enjoy the chocolate fountain at the holiday party. But the rest of the season, nutritious and minimally processed food will counteract the effects of all the sugar (and alcohol, if you partake).
People who believe exercise is only about losing weight often will give that up first when the schedule gets too full, but that’s also a really bad idea. Not only does physical movement keep you physically healthy, it helps you mentally.
As best you can, stick to your regular sleep schedule. It’s a lot harder to get things done at work and to appreciate the holiday crayon art your toddler drew on your newly painted wall when you’re tired and cranky.
If you’re hosting a party, for the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster please provide beverages for your nondrinking/designated driver friends that are not fruit juice or soda. Any store that sells alcohol likely has some nonalcoholic options for gin, bubbly, whiskey, etc. Your local big grocery store (I’m not sure about smaller shops) sells nonalcoholic beer other than O’Douls.
You might actually find something you like, and your friends will appreciate it. You can also mix up a big bowl of nonalcoholic punch (bonus: kids can drink it too) and anyone who drinks can simply add the tot of their choice into their own glass.
Recap (tl;dr):
Forget perfection and enjoy your time this season. Consider making an intentional choice to spend less time being productive if it makes sense for your business this season.
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Photo by Ken Cheung on Unsplash